


A Drarry Valentine

by K_booklover98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_booklover98/pseuds/K_booklover98
Summary: Harry and Draco have some competitive fun





	A Drarry Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!!
> 
> So, I actually wrote this awhile ago (a year? Maybe two?) and I found this like a month ago while I was moving some old fanfic files around on my laptop. Soooo, I reedited it, changed some things, and wham! Here it is! :)
> 
> I hope you like it

“I wrote Harry a poem.”

“Oh god.”

Draco pretended to clear his throat, as he stood up on top of the bench, reaching into the pocket of his trousers for a small piece of parchment.

“Roses are red.”

“Please stop.”

“Violets are blue.”

“Kill me now.”

“I’m using my hand….”

“Malfoy….”

“But I’m thinking of you!”

“You are so drunk…”

 

\---

 

It started off as a stupid one liner. Valentine’s Day was around the corner, and while they usually don’t celebrate the stupid holiday, their friends usually dragged them out of the house to do something. And by something, it usually consisted of going out to see some cheesy chick flick, (for some reason Seamus was a sucker for them), and then they’d end up somewhere at a local bar in town, making fun of other couples, getting drunk, and dancing horribly to cheesy muggle “pop hits” the DJ insisted on playing. Even if they were at a wizarding club.

Anyways, Harry was just trying to be funny. It had been an early morning, both Draco and Harry needing to be in the office before nine. Harry had some reports to file, and Draco had a meeting with a new client. Per usual, Draco was sitting at the kitchen island, reading the _Daily Prophet_ and sipping his tea, waiting for Harry to come in to make breakfast.

Upon seeing Draco sitting on the barstool, hair ruffled, and wearing nothing but an old T-shirt of Harry’s and his boxers, Harry said “You must be a banana, because I find you a peeling.”

“That was tragic, Potter.”

Harry shrugged, a sleepy smile on his face as he walked over and placed a soft kiss on Draco’s cheek. “Sorry. Was the first thing that came to mind.”

“Were you trying to use a pick-up line on me?”

“…maybe.” Harry replied sheepishly, as he grabbed some eggs out of the fridge.

“Mediocre at best.” Draco snorted. “I personally would have went with ‘can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?’”

Harry laughed, preparing the skillet, as he continued to pull out food ingredients, like bacon and some bread for toast. “Okay, how about ‘on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9 and I’m the one you need’?”

“And next you’ll be using lines like ‘your hand looks lonely, let me hold it for you’.”

Harry shrugged. “Not as bad as the classic ‘I lost my number, can I have yours?’”

Draco smirked. “Yes, that one too, should burn in hell.”

And that’s how it started. They’d go back and forth and see who could come up with the worst pick up line. It started off innocent enough. Draco would say something like “your lips look lonely. Would they like to be mine?” and Harry would reply with “can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”

Draco would be in the bedroom, getting ready for work, and Harry would say “Do you like sleeping? Me too. We should do it together sometime.” Or Harry would be busy making coffee, and Draco would say “you know, if you were coffee grounds, you’d be expresso, because you’re so fine.”

And they would go back and forth, just like that.

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”

“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”

“I’m not an organ donor, but I would be happy to give you my heart.”

“Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”

“Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.”

But then things started to change.

One day, Draco was kneeling on the floor. He had been on a floo call with a client, and had just ended it when Harry entered into the living room. Upon seeing Draco in his current position, and without really thinking, Harry said “If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?”

And the sad part about it was Draco didn’t even miss a beat. “Well, I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.”

And just like that, their game took a turn.

Draco would be leaning over the sink, washing dishes and Harry would say “You’re arse looks lonely without my hands on it.”

Harry would be writing a new report for Kingsley, and Draco would say “If we were back at Hogwarts, I’d treat you like my homework. I’d slam you on the table and do you all night long.”

One day, Harry was sitting on the couch, doing research on his laptop and Draco came into the room and said “are you a computer genius? Because you are turning my software into hardware.”

To which Harry replied with “Are you a software update? Because not right now.”

“That was cold.”

\---

 

Soon it was actually Valentine’s Day, and it seemed like there were no limits to this game. Draco woke up, small smile on his face. He rolled over to face Harry, seeing as he was already awake, and the first thing the brunette said was “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” To which Draco couldn’t help but to snort at. “Potter, I always want to have sex with you.”

Harry snorted, rolling over so that he was laying on top of Draco. “You are such a pervert.”

Draco smirked, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, leaning up to lick his lips. “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

Harry snorted, leaning down to suck on Draco’s neck. “That was just terrible.”

Draco moaned. “Not as bad as ‘are you a whistle? Because I want to blow you.’”

Harry did laugh at that one. “You can do whatever you want to me.” he said, before sealing their lips in a heated kiss.

 

\---

 

They met up later that day with their friends outside of the muggle cinema in downtown London. When they arrived, they were met with Ron, Hermione, Luna, and Neville, followed by Ginny, Blaise, Dean and Seamus. After hugs and “hellos” were exchanged throughout the group, it was time to get down to business.

“So, what god awful movie has Seamus picked for us this time?” Ginny asked a bit skeptical, but with a smile on her face.

“ _Love, Actually_.” Seamus said, followed by an eye roll from his boyfriend. “I tried to talk him out of it, I swear.” Dean said, teasingly. “He’s stubborn as hell, though.”

The group gave a collective sigh, but went with it anyways. They loved Seamus, but they swore next year someone else was picking the movie.

Following the movie, is when the fun really began. It was Ginny’s turn to pick a bar, and so she lead them down a few streets and back down a couple alleyways, before finally reaching their destination. It was called “Potions and Elixirs” obviously a wizarding bar, and the group of ten entered inside, finding a cozy booth somewhere in the midst of all the people crowded inside.

“Nice catch, mate.” Ron said to Neville as they all got settled into the rather spacious booth. “I didn’t think we’d be able to get a seat.”

“Definitely should have been a Hufflepuff.” Ginny teased. “He’s really good at finding things.”

Neville blushed. “I can’t help it.”

“So, what have you all been doing today?” Dean asked suggestively.

The table laughed. “You know, regular Valentine’s Day stuff.” Blaise said with a shrug. “Chocolates, cheesy movies, snogging left and right.” Ginny giggled, swatting his shoulder. Ron coughed.

“Neville took me on a long romantic walk through the park.” Luna said dreamily. “It was really nice. We had a picnic and everything. We even got to have se-”

“Please, don’t finish that sentence.” Neville said, his blush deepening.

The table laughed again. “Ooh, who would have pegged Neville as an exhibitionist?” Blaise teased.

“Sex outside in broad daylight, mate?” Seamus said with a broad grin. “Kinky, man.”

“I don’t even think me and Harry have gotten that far….and we’ve gotten pretty far.” Draco said, making Harry blush madly.

“Oh. My. God.” Neville said, practically melting into the floor.

“Calm down Neville.” came Hermione’s voice of reason. “I’m sure it’s not as uncommon as everyone here is making it out to be. I mean, me and Ron have never, but, still.” and now her and Neville were both a blushing mess, as well as Ron.

As the conversations continued on, drinks were ordered and food was served. Soon, everyone, (at least the ones who weren’t designated to apparate), had a buzz going. Hermione and Harry being included in that group, were carrying on a conversation of their own about S.P.E.W, as a pretty drunk Ron tried to arm wrestle with a rather drunk Blaise. Draco, who had already had a couple himself, leaned over to whisper in Harry’s ear. “I can be your house elf. I’ll do whatever you want and I don’t need any clothes.” He said, having picked up a bit on their conversation. Harry blushed heavily. Draco smirked, chuckling darkly.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to say _Accio_ to make me come.” Harry retorted back.

Draco’s smirk turned wicked. “Did you just cast _petrificus totalus_? Because you’ve made me stiff.”

Harry giggled. “You don’t have to say _Lumos Maxima_ to turn me on.”

“Oi! What are you two school girls over there whispering about?” Seamus asked, a loopy grin plastered on his face.

Harry blushed even harder, saying “nothing,” at the same time Draco said, “just telling him how much I wanna fu-hmph” but Harry was covering up Draco’s mouth with his hand. That is until Draco licked the palm.

“Gross, Draco!”

“You like it when I lick you.” he giggled, hiccupping a bit.

“Okay, you’ve definitely had enough to drink, love.”

“But wait!!” Draco said, all of a sudden as if remembering something really important.

Harry groaned. “Not now!” he hissed.

“But it’s important!!” Draco whined.

Ginny giggled. “What are you two going on about now?”

“I wrote Harry a poem.” Draco said with a sappy look on his face.

“Oh god.” Harry groaned, sinking lower into his seat.

Draco pretended to clear his throat, as he stood up on top of the booth seat, reaching into the pocket of his trousers for a small piece of parchment. He unfolded it, and then flipped it around, squinting at it, before clearing his throat again, and beginning.

“Roses are red.”

“Please stop.”

“Violets are blue.”

“Kill me now.”

“I’m using my hand….”

“Malfoy….”

“But I’m thinking of you!”

“You are so drunk…”

The table was silent for maybe about three whole seconds, before everyone burst with uncontrollable laughter. Harry was as bright as a tomato, wishing he could disappear. Draco, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know when to stop. Bastard didn’t seem to have a filter at the moment.

“Wait! I have another one!!” he said, flipping his piece of paper over.

“Okay, roses are red,

Violets are blue,

He’s for me, and not for you,

By a chance, you take my place,

I’ll take my fist,

And smash your face!”

The laughter seemed to rise in volume. “I wrote that one myself.” Draco giggled, sitting back down next to Harry, giving him a very wet and sloppy kiss on the cheek. “How was that?” he said with a hiccup.

Harry was bright red, the others too far gone, tears running down their faces at Draco’s antics. “I…really hate you, but really love you at the same time.”

Draco giggled, patting Harry’s cheek, except he was really drunk, and pretty much just ended up slapping him instead. “Stupid Gryffindor.” he said with a hiccup. “That doesn’t even make sense!”

Harry couldn’t help it, he started laughing too. “I’m going to take you home now.”

“For sex?”

“For _sleep_ ,” Harry insisted.

Draco pouted. “But it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Harry chuckled. “And you can barely stand! Look, if we make it home in one piece, we can do whatever you want.”

Draco smiled crookedly. “Okay Harry.” he slurred.

Harry attempted to say bye to the others, but they were still in a heap of laughter, so he just rolled his eyes and hauled Draco up out the booth and led him to the exit. Once he found a safe place to do so, he apparated them back to their apartment. They landed in the middle of their bedroom, and Harry settled Draco down on the bed.

“Sexy time!” Draco insisted, pulling Harry down on top of him.

“Uh huh.” Harry said, counting to five in his head.

_One_. Draco pulled Harry down against him and onto the bed.

_Two_. Draco sealed their lips together in a rather sloppy kiss.

_Three_. One of Draco’s hands began to slide up Harry’s shirt

_Four_. Harry ran a hand through Draco’s soft hair.

_Five_. Draco was softly snoring.

Harry chuckled, getting up and stripping his boyfriend, before throwing the bed covers over him. “That’s exactly what I thought.” he said, kissing Draco’s cheek and forehead.

Knowing he was going to have a headache tomorrow, he grabbed a hangover potion out of the kitchen and set it down on their bedside table, before undressing and sliding back into bed with his boyfriend. He wrapped Draco up in his arms and sighed deeply.

He’d have a lot of explaining to do in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I know it's kind of cringy (oops). Sorry I've been gone for so long, but things happen. I'm still writing though, don't worry, so hopefully I'll be back soon.


End file.
